5 years

Five years after his suicide, we ache for our son, Noah. Each year, the pain is a little less acute, the loss a little more woven into who we have become since his death. This anniversary means looking back on five years without Noah, as well as the toll that five years of grief have taken in the life of our family. I want to pause and recognize how low we once sank, how far we’ve come. The landscape keeps shifting as I look back on the terrain we’ve crossed. Will this milestone anniversary open up new vistas, new ways of restoring our lives amidst grief?  

To my fellow survivors: Which have been the landmark anniversaries for you? Did #5 matter as much as #3 or #10? If you’re counting the months, when did you notice a shift in your ability to cope? Give yourself credit for every step forward and understanding for every step that feels like it’s backward again. If you’d like to know more about my grief journey, in addition to my grief memoir , I was recently interviewed for a podcast that updates my perspective to the five-year mark and also discusses losing my father to suicide; you can listen here (click on Episode 4: Surviving a Second Loss).