Sometime in the third year after Noah's suicide, a friend asked if I still talked to him and I said, regretfully, no -- except sometimes at the ocean or in the shower. She suggested I write little notes to Noah as if including him in the day's conversation. So I started writing messages on post-its and sticking them to the frame around his self-portrait, surrounding him with love and care, keeping him in my field of vision in the family room.
This weekend, my husband and I will display Noah's self-portrait at the memory table at a celebration of his life for what would have been his 25th birthday. I'll remove my messages and make room for the messages of friends and family who will surround us with their memories and love for our son. Here are a few of my post-its before they disappear:
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